Mary, I thought you captured the excitement so well among you and your friends. Although there was clearly excitement, I love how you subtly wove in the feelings of embarrassment and hesitation, as well. After peeking at your artist statement, you said you didn’t touch upon the growth that you noticed while reading the letters. Is this something you discussed with Sylvia in the moment? It would be interesting to hear the dialogue between you two, since you seem to have known each other for a while and experienced each other’s developments. It would also help to break up the chunks of scene descriptors, which are really well done.
Mary, I love the telling of a small moment. But clearly, it is the act of reading and reflecting on this letter that makes it memorable. I am especially struck by how you acknowledge both your growth/change along with you stability of who you are. Some moments are harder to capture in films than others. I am wondering if there is a way you could have had some conversation about what you and your friend talked about either while you were reading and/or after you both finished. Is there a way to show some of the cringy moments? Or perhaps the Aha moment? I wonder if we should expect all FYIs at Clark to have students write letters to their senior selves. I think there is something profound about this activity. — Eric
Thank you for sharing Mary! I love the way you set your scene. I felt like I was at the next table over watching this whole encounter unfold. Your writing is super expressive and visually descriptive, which really helps the reader understand this moment in time. I also think your artist statement explaining how this story represents your growth and development is really profound and is a refreshing take on this assignment!
Mary, I thought you captured the excitement so well among you and your friends. Although there was clearly excitement, I love how you subtly wove in the feelings of embarrassment and hesitation, as well. After peeking at your artist statement, you said you didn’t touch upon the growth that you noticed while reading the letters. Is this something you discussed with Sylvia in the moment? It would be interesting to hear the dialogue between you two, since you seem to have known each other for a while and experienced each other’s developments. It would also help to break up the chunks of scene descriptors, which are really well done.
Mary, I love the telling of a small moment. But clearly, it is the act of reading and reflecting on this letter that makes it memorable. I am especially struck by how you acknowledge both your growth/change along with you stability of who you are. Some moments are harder to capture in films than others. I am wondering if there is a way you could have had some conversation about what you and your friend talked about either while you were reading and/or after you both finished. Is there a way to show some of the cringy moments? Or perhaps the Aha moment? I wonder if we should expect all FYIs at Clark to have students write letters to their senior selves. I think there is something profound about this activity. — Eric
Thank you for sharing Mary! I love the way you set your scene. I felt like I was at the next table over watching this whole encounter unfold. Your writing is super expressive and visually descriptive, which really helps the reader understand this moment in time. I also think your artist statement explaining how this story represents your growth and development is really profound and is a refreshing take on this assignment!